ADHD Couples Therapy in Christchurch
If ADHD is affecting your relationship, you may find yourselves stuck in the same painful patterns.
Perhaps conversations escalate before either of you intends them to. One partner feels constantly criticised. The other feels unheard or overwhelmed. Small misunderstandings become exhausting arguments. You may both love each other deeply, yet struggle to feel understood.
Couples therapy can help you understand these patterns, communicate differently, and begin rebuilding your connection.
In-person sessions • Private & confidential • Bealey Ave, Central Christchurch
When ADHD is part of the relationship
ADHD affects much more than attention.
It can influence communication, emotional reactions, organisation, memory, intimacy and the way partners experience one another’s actions.
Over time, couples often find themselves stuck in patterns that neither partner wanted. One partner may feel they carry most of the responsibility. The other may feel that nothing they do is ever enough.
These experiences are real, but they do not have to define your relationship.
ADHD may help explain some relationship patterns, but it is never about blaming one partner. Together we explore how the relationship works and what can change.
I am a couples therapist who understands how ADHD can shape relationship patterns and how couples can move beyond them.
I help you understand these patterns without blame and find ways of working together that suit your relationship.
Ania Szurpicka
Couples Therapist – Central Christchurch
How I work with Couples
At the core of every conflict is a longing – to be seen, understood, and deeply loved.
When that longing feels threatened, couples react. Some withdraw. Some attack. Some shut down. Some try to stay reasonable. Beneath these reactions is usually hurt.
In our sessions, I create a warm and steady space where neither partner is shamed or blamed. You will not be attacked here.
At the same time, I will not avoid what truly needs attention. If something deeper is shaping the conflict, we will gently name it together.
I help regulate the emotional intensity between you so that difficult conversations can happen without anyone getting burned.
Often couples are surprised how quickly patterns become visible – patterns that may be shaped by ADHD, early family experiences, past wounds, or unspoken expectations. When these patterns are understood, something shifts.
Every couple also brings together two inner worlds — sometimes two cultures, sometimes two different family histories, sometimes two very different ways of expressing love. We explore these differences with curiosity and respect, so that what is unconscious becomes conscious.
From there, change becomes possible.
I combine warmth with clarity – creating safety first, and honesty when it matters.
My work is grounded in formal training in Europe, New Zealand and internationally.
You may be experiencing:
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Arguments that quickly spiral out of control
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Feeling like you’re having the same conversation over and over
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Feeling that one partner carries most of the mental load
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Feeling criticised, misunderstood or never quite good enough
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Emotional disconnection or loss of intimacy
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Living more like flatmates than partners
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Broken trust or unresolved hurts
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Wondering whether the relationship can survive
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Feeling that your good intentions are repeatedly misunderstood
Couples often come to therapy to:
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Better understand how ADHD is affecting your relationship
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Feel heard without being attacked
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Break painful communication patterns
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Repair trust and emotional closeness
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Rebuild intimacy
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Learn healthier ways to navigate conflict
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Create a relationship that feels alive again
You do not have to stay stuck in the same painful pattern.
What the first session is like
The first session is a 60-minute, in-person session at my Bealey Ave practice in Central Christchurch.
Couples often arrive carrying fear – fear of being misunderstood, fear of saying too much, fear that the relationship may not survive.
My priority is to slow things down.
Together we begin to understand what is happening beneath the arguments and the patterns that keep bringing you back to them.
Therapy cannot guarantee an outcome, but it can create clarity, honesty, and understanding – which are necessary for any meaningful decision.
Many couples leave the first session feeling something they have not felt in a long time: hope.
What clients have shared
“Ania helped me believe in our relationship again. She created the communication channels we really needed and helped us navigate an incredibly difficult period.”
Shared by a former client (with permission)
Ania Szurpicka – Couples Therapist
Heart Therapy